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Chapter 27
My caution flipped out of the window. Gerda was actually spending the evening with Jennifer's ex.
"You must be totally mad," I typed. "Get out while you can." The message emoticon showed how concerned I was.
"You worry too much. It's cool and really educational."
"He's a killer, you idiot. Get out!"
"He's a my sugar daddy!"
It occurred to me that Gerda was possibly just teasing me and that she was really looking for help.
"If you have to stay there, keep me up to date and if he gets nasty, I'll come round with the cavalry. Give me your address so I can make sure it's the one I know."
The address that came up was the one I'd already got for him. This at least was reassuring.
"I've got to go now ... he's coming back."
I quickly typed out an email address for her to use.
Then she was gone and I was alone in the chat room with the unpleasant feeling of being out of control.
It was past 11.00 o'clock before Jennifer returned.
"Hi you!" I said, trying to appear unconcerned - but unsuccessfully.
She pecked me on the cheek, smiling absentmindedly. This was not the welcome I expected.
She was wearing her long blue dress, the one she had worn in the park when Tommy and I had played football. My whole body burned with desire for her and I wondered whether she was wearing as little under it as she had before.
"Things are going well," she said. "Tommy's going to sleep over at his friends but I've still got things to do and that means going out again."
"Isn't it a bit late for going out and doing things?" I tried to sound off-hand.
"Why? You're still busy doing things on that computer, aren't you?" There was a defensive flare in her piercing blue eyes. She didn't want to justify anything to me.
"The computers are different."
I'd hoped to provoke her into discussing why they were different. Perhaps I could have found out where she was going but she had no intention of stopping for a chat.
"I've got to go," she said and I could see her thoughts were a million miles away.
She gave me another quick peck on the cheek and was out of the door before I could think of a suitably laconic comment. Her heels clattered on the steps outside the apartment leading up to the front door and then it slammed. It was a very final sound that seemed like a comment on our relationship.
I wondered if Ron was waiting for her outside. The comparisons between us were stark.
Ron was successful - I wasn't.
Rod was wealthy - I struggled from monthly wage to monthly wage.
Of course it was true that Ron was an ugly bastard whereas I was young and ... But then what did it matter? Women want a man that can defend them and look after them. What could I do? I was living in accommodation tied to my job and on a salary that was only just enough to keep me from week to week let alone a family. Sure Ron had offered me stock options but that was in the uncertain future.
I imagined her in his arms and felt sick then I felt angry. I had gone out on a limb to help her. She could at least have spent some time getting to know me before dumping me.
I felt rejected and despondent. Then I thought of Gerda and how she might now be in her sugar daddy's arms making love. It was dark outside and in the depths of this old house, I felt isolated and alone.
"Ping." The chat message announced that 'Dancing Partner G.' was online again and back in the private room. It was 1 o'clock in the morning.
"Hi there B. Guess what ... I survived. I've emailed you my notes of the evening. If anything happens to me, sell them to the tabloid newspapers or use them in evidence ... or whatever!"
I checked my in-tray of emails to make sure it was there.
"I've got it," I replied. "How did the evening go?"
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